I started this project in late January, I was originally writing Learning to Love Home as a possible book idea. Though the Lord knew my heart and had different plans for this project. As I was starting to re-do mine and David's bedroom, making it more of an adult space, instead of the laundry dumping grounds that it currently was and honestly still is most days. I got word that my grandfather was ill and quickly passed away afterwards. A man that treated all of his grandchildren, like his own was taken away so quickly it truly shocked our entire family. I quickly hopped onto a plane to New Orleans to be with my sister and grandmother to help make arrangements before David and Tensley came down later in the week. For years I remember watching my mom leave the people she always considered her second parents teary-eyed as she gave her final hugs. The day I left my grandmother, was the first time I left teary-eyed just like my mom use too.
Three weeks ago God truly changed "my plan" of how he wanted to take over my home. I am so humbled that God would convict me when I need it and remind myself as much as I make plans, HIS plan is the ultimate one. My grandmother wasn't doing well and after some very concerning phone calls my sister and I made the decision that I needed to fly down to New Orleans and bring her back to good ole' Virginia. Once plans were finalized for me to go down there, I had less than 24 hours to get the Back Bedroom ready for her to come. A room that she stayed in during Hurricane Katrina many years ago.
The problem; I hated, loathed the back bedroom. The room with its two toned green colored walls, covered in natural sunlight is the room that I found my mother in not hat December evening. That's the room that changed my entire life.
I have tried my hardest to find peace with that room, making it my daughter's playroom for the past 3 years was the easiest thing I could think of. Even though I use to only play with Tensley in that room if I knew David was still in the house. The pain that room gave me was hard to overcome, it was just easier to shut the door and pretend the room didn't exist. however with a growing girl, tons of toys, and a desire to have our home be cleaned and organized I needed that room to exist. So it became the playroom, semi-guest room (thanks to a futon) and study room. Seeing the joy on my daughter's face while playing with her toys made this room easier to go in, watch movies and play with her. It's a room I can now look back and see the many wonderful memories I shared with Tensely in, instead of only seeing the night of my mother's death.
I knew for a long time that for me to truly be okay with that room again and our home that I would need the back bedroom to become a bedroom again. I tried my best to mentally prepare for the day that David and I would have to move our bedroom downstairs because we had added an addition to the family (No that wasn't a hint). Picturing how I would want that room to become a master and praying that tI would be emotionally ready for something like that.
Again God had other plans. That room is now set up for my grandmother for her to come stay with us at least all of hurricane season. We are so excited for her to come and I'm so happy to see that room have a bed in it again. I feel at such peace walking into that room everyday to get it a little more ready for her. I am so thankful that God changed this plan of how I would love my home, that He had me rip the band-aid off that back bedroom. For I know without His grace I would have let that room be the last one I made over. Thank you Sweet Lord for the push and keeping me emotionally focused.
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